The six letters that were never sent, and the one that was
by autumn-leaf16
Summary: a semi AU in regard to "The puppeteer's extra strings". Al-Cid's relationship with Messallina is examined through the six letters he never sent as well as the one that he would send
1. The first letter

**Author's Note:** this story is just an idea that suddenly came. When I suddenly thought that I could write a story where Al-Cid and Messallina sorts of become a couple. This is not canon to "The puppeteer's extra strings", but a 'what if' instead. One day, the idea of this being a story told through letters just came, and I thought that it would be quite an interesting way to write a story. I actually wrote this on my phone using evernote. This story is from Al-Cid's point of view completely, and it might be a bit out of character, but the main idea is that this is from the point of view of someone who is in love. In the canon version of my story, Al-Cid and Messallina's relationship is sort of a friendship, he is not in love with her. This is just a what if.

* * *

_The seven letters were in a neat stack in the drawer, tied with a faded ribbon. Very carefully, the young woman unknotted the ribbon and placed each envelope on the desk in front of her._

_Each envelope had a different but familiar name, and some envelopes were clearly more faded then others. One was her name, but that particular letter was the very last one._

"_Six letters that were never sent and the one that would be sent." was her father's words. "They are all for you, my precious morning star, although they are not about you."_

* * *

**The first letter**

My dear sister:

I think I might be in love.

Perhaps you will laugh at the context, or perhaps you will be too surprised. Or maybe you will do both. I think I'm doing both. After all, it is one of the most foolish things I have ever done. To meet someone, and then to think that I am in love.

You are naturally thinking of who the person is, and why I'm writing to you. The reason is because you have seen her and might have played a part in causing me to be like this. I have seen the way you looked at our cousin and I used to think that this is foolish of you. I don't think my mind has changed but I can't reproach someone for something I've done too.

During that ball in Bhujerba...you wanted to dance with our cousin. I did not realise that your want would be a reality. After all, our cousin would surely not insult Archadia so.

Yet he did, with you as an excuse. Because of that, I ended up dancing with Lady Messallina Solidor.

And so my madness starts.

Yes, my dear sister, no doubt you are thinking that your brother has gone mad.

Maybe I have.

Initially, I merely sought to dance with her because of the consequences for Rozarria, as well as feeling that our cousin has gone too far. However...

This sounds crazy and I'm a madman for saying this, but she laughed and smiled with me. When she did that, there was something different about her.

They say that she is a widow who loved her husband so, but I'm not sure if I agree. There is something about the way that she laughed. I feel that she had little chance of laughing before.

This can not be a woman who had a happy marriage.

If she is pretending...that makes it even more tragic then her simply having had a bad marriage.

Politics is a very twisted road and I think she had her share.

There is also her relationship with her brother-in-law. They are supposed to dislike each other, only civilized due to the emperor. Even though I am not sure about her, I am certain that he regards her as very important.

So why this twisting road?

And what is it that I want?

I don't know. I don't even know why I'm writing this letter.

I'm not fully certain whether I am in love, but I know that I have a very strange feeling towards her. I'll certainly like to know more about her. Perhaps I should visit Archadia a bit more?

Yes, I will do that.

~Your brother, Al-Cid.

* * *

_The young man placed his pen down and re-read the letter once more. Even though he is certain about his desire of going to Archadia, he decided against sending the letter. _

_As he himself said, he was not sure of what he wanted at all. Sending a letter with so much uncertainty would probably just embarrass himself. _


	2. The second letter

**The second letter**

Lord Vayne Solidor:

Perhaps you would be surprised at the letter, or perhaps you might not. I am not sure, but I haven't been certain about a lot of things lately.

You are going to marry Lady Messallina, your late brother's widow. That is why I am writing to you

I know that you must be thinking: and what business is that of yours? It shouldn't be, but it is.

The reason is simple and perhaps one that you already know.

I know about what happened in the past and present, that Lady Messallina was married to your late brother due to the senate in their battle against House Solidor. I also know that the senate is repeating their old game, and that is why she will be your wife.

Surely you won't let them win so easily?

No, that is not what I am trying to say.

Surely you do not intend to just obey the senate?

No, that is not right either. Perhaps telling the truth is better.

Lord Vayne, I know that you actually want this marriage, and that is probably why you protests against it. To trick the others into giving you the prize. However, is this really a good idea?

Let me be honest: you cannot make her happy. If you care for her enough to want her, then you should be doing the opposite. She should not be your bride.

I wish to marry her and I will be willing to live a life free of politics for her.

Don't you think that this is a better fate?

* * *

_The letter was not even finished because he realised that there was little point in sending it. It was not because the groom sought to marry the bride, but that the bride seemed to desire this too. _

_The two who hid from the world so well was not able to conceal what they felt from one who had a similar feeling. _


	3. The third letter

**The third letter**

My little emperor in waiting:

I should no longer call you that anymore, should I? After all, you are now the emperor. A heavy crown, Larsa, and one that I cannot help you with. I can only hope that you will be strong enough to bear it.

But this letter, it is not about this heavy burden, but about something else. Rather, someone else.

It is ironic, is it not, that I should know so much more about your sister-in-law then you, even though she was such a dominating presence in your whole life?

Yet this is not so surprising, as the little emperor in waiting was her younger brother-in-law that her beloved husband sought to shelter much from.

Especially in regard their true nature.

First of all, Larsa, I swear that I did not suspect that much, that Lady Messallina bore resentment in addition to love for you. I do believe that love was and is there, just not as much as you thought.

But Larsa, is it really her fault that she choose your brother over you when he was there first? Just as it is not your fault that your brother loved you so, it is only natural that she would be jealous.

I do not say that she is right, but I hope that you will not blame her so.

As for me...my relationship with her is a strange one. After all, I was the one she had a final talk with, as well as the one who she revealed much of. However, I cannot answer questions with answers that I do not know, even though I want these answers myself.

She likes me a little, because I once helped her.

As for myself… I must admit a secret that I have not told anyone, not even her.

I wanted to marry her and I was upset when she married your brother.

I used the past tense, but that is not accurate. I still want to marry her. Therefore, I am not going back to Rozarria. Instead, I am going to find her.

However, I do not intend to return once I find her.

I return with her or I do not return at all.

~Your friend, Al-Cid

* * *

_The writer of the letter was much older, but it seems that the content of the letter changed very little. Like last time, he also shook his head as he re-read the letter, realising that it was another letter that he could not send._

_Yet the content of the letter would be a reality, as that was what he intended. _


	4. The fourth letter

**The fourth letter**

My lady evening star:

I found you, I finally found you. I have searched for you for three years, chasing after the shadows of any rumour to achieve this quest which might still be in vain.

Yes, I stand in front of your house with flowers. You let me in, but that is because your neighbours would chatter if you do not.

Ah, my lady evening star, a beautiful woman like you can receive flowers from men without worrying about any consequences. All that I ask is a smile from you. What scandal can that bring?

I did not know that you intended to leave. If I knew, I would have done something.

The truth is, my lady evening star, I want to marry you. That is why I stand here with these flowers. But all this, you know already. You just refuse to believe this!

Why should this so surprising?

I was in love with you when I saw you, only that I did not understand until three years later, when I saw you about to get married to Vayne Solidor. I knew then, why I was upset, and why I visited Archadia to see you.

Maybe it is this that made me realised what no one else did. That you and Vayne actually wanted this marriage. That you two loved each other.

My lady evening star...you must know too well what the real nature of your husband is like. Yet you continue to love him...

How could I ever win?

But I'm not a greedy man. I do not desire your whole heart or even a lot of love. Parts would do. Affection can be enough.

Of course I want more, but I can make a do with less, provided that I still have some.

Messallina, come to Rozarria with me. We can live in my family's country manor and be free from all the mess that you were tangled up in. The only footsteps that you would hear behind you would be me, in a hurry to find you to embrace you. As for your son, I will be a stepfather to him. A stepfather that protects him.

We can be happy. You can be content. Let the memories of Vayne Solidor be memories.

Once again, my fate is in your hands.

~A man who loves you

* * *

_He was standing in front of her house again, the flowers in one hand while the letter was in his other hand. Since she would not listen, perhaps the letter would achieve something. _

_Yet when she came to talk to him, he ended up putting the letter away. It seemed that if he pushed the issue too far, then she might push him away _


	5. The fifth letter

**The fifth letter**

Queen Ashelia B'nargin of Dalmasca:

The fact that you would consider this is a great honour, yet it is something that I can never accept.

If I continue to refuse then there would be much harm, but you could easily solve my difficulty by refusing. After all, you are the queen while I am just a minor royalty. Yet you and I are friends, are we not?

Therefore...please refuse this alliance.

Yes, the rumours are true. I have the wife of the late Vayne Solidor with me. We live in the same house and we have the same room. I will be honest, in the physical sense we are lover, but that is only in the physical sense.

I love her and I want her to be my wife, but she refuses.

This started more then a decade ago. When I first met her in that ball in Bhujerba, when your brother was killed.

I know it hurts you, my lady, but Vayne was not the villain on that night. If there was one that must bear the title, it is my cousins and your brother.

I had to watch her marry another man when I wanted to marry her myself, and I then had to watch her mourn for such a selfish man. Do you not think that I deserve this happiness?

I know that you do not like her, my lady, but please understand that this is a woman who has undergone much suffering. In her first marriage, she was married to a man who disliked her greatly and he made her life very difficult. As for her second husband…Vayne Solidor loved her in his own way, but he was not concerned with her happiness. Therefore, she suffered much too.

Do you not think that she deserves to have a husband who not only loves her, would make her happy?

I need her in my life. I have lived without her for more then a decade despite wanting her. However, I now realise how much I need her. If I am forced to marry you…it will not be a happy marriage at all, my lady, because I can not give her up.

That would only bring you unhappiness as you would lose one that was your friend.

~ Al-Cid, the one who is your friend and wishes to remain as your friend.

* * *

_Turning aroun__d, he handed the letter written for the woman that others wanted him to marry to the woman that he wanted to marry. __Her face did not reveal any emotion, b__ut when she finished the letter, she actually kissed him and continued to hold the letter._

_"It is not __a letter__ that would find favour with anyone but me__."_


	6. The sixth letter

**The sixth letter**

Carudas, my soon-to-be son:

It is strange, isn't it, for me to write a letter to you when we have been living in the same house for the past three years? However, it might be better for me to write instead of trying to talk with you.

I wonder what you think of me, this stranger who turned up in front of your mother's house and simply refused to leave, this stranger who then took your mother and you to another country.

Now, I will marry your mother.

You knew that I am not your father, you knew that very early. As you have always been a smart child, you knew that a mother does not share a room with the one that you do not call father. It was not so long ago when you asked me that question.

I was truthful with you, was I not? I wanted to be your father as I wanted to be your mother's husband. That was why I was there all these years ago.

I never once talked about your father with you, because it is not in my place. However, it might be necessary for me to do so now.

Your father died before you were born and your mother told you a little of him. I think she would have waited longer if it was not due to me. Perhaps I am lucky, as your mother is not one who would create a heroic image that the stepfather could never live up to.

Your father was not a bad man but he was not an easy man to live with. He loved your mother, but he was not able to make her happy or even protect her, because he choose to be in a position of political power, which meant that he devoted almost everything to that. In the end, he was killed for trying to do what he regarded as being right. That is the danger of the world he and your mother lived in.

Therefore, do you not think it is not unreasonable for her to choose to remarry and have a husband who will devote the rest of his life to make her happy?

As for you, I will be a good father. I have already been a good father-like figure, haven't I?

* * *

_The pen was thrown down in frustration while the paper was almost scrunched up due to his frustration. Despite how long he thought of each sentence before he wrote it, the result was the complete opposite of what he wanted to achieve. This letter seemed more like the ravings of a stepfather who was trying to prevent his stepson from loving his own father._

_He would not send this letter, as it would only make things so much worse._


	7. The seventh letter

**The seventh letter**

My precious morning star:

It will be many years before you can read this letter, and I am very afraid that I would not be there, because I am not such a young man.

By now, you would have read the six other letters. They were not for you, yet it is fitting that you should be the one to read them, as they are about your mother and I. The mother that you would never know.

Three seems to be the number that has much effect on our relationship. Three years after I saw her for the first time, she married her second husband: your brother's birth father. Another three years later, she was widowed and disappeared from my life. It then took me three years to find her and three was also the number of years that it took me to persuade her to come with me. It was also three years before she agreed to marry me.

It seems foolish, but I was actually quite curious at what would happen three years after our marriage.

I was overjoyed when she revealed her pregnancy. I thought that this would be the second gift. I thought that my three years from now on would be filled with gifts.

I was too greedy.

You, my precious daughter, my morning star, was born, but that is not the only thing that happened.

Your mother died.

I will never blame you for that. I am certain that as you read this letter, you would be nodding.

Nor did I blame your brother, although you might find this much harder to believe due to what I did. I sent him away to his uncle in Archadia, and it would be many years before he returns.

My precious morning star, please understand that I do love your brother as my own son, I am sure that you would be able to realise this.

Yet I still sent him away. I cannot deny that.

As for why…

I am jealous of him. I cannot mourn and grief without hurting him. That is why I sent him away.

Carudas looks too much like his birth father, the man whom I will always be jealous of. But it is not just because of that. The reason that I sent him away is the same reason as why your mother refused to stay with your uncle.

We lost someone so precious to us, yet that person we lost has never been able to give us all the love that we desire from them, because it was given to someone else. Therefore, it is very difficult for us to look at that person who was the receiver of what we want, of what we would never receive.

No matter what, the love she bores for your brother is a much stronger love then what she would give me. If your brother did not want her to marry me, then she would not.

I sent him to your uncle because he is someone that would understand. After all, he has done a similar thing himself, to your mother of all people.

I wonder, what would happen three years later?

My precious daughter, I hope these letters can make you understand both your mother and I a bit more.

~ your father

* * *

_The baby girl lost her mother soon after her arrival into the world, while her half-brother lacked a father before he was even born. Was he really right by denying the girl of her brother? A brother who loved her._

_However, he knew that if he did not send the boy away, the boy might be completely orphaned by losing his stepfather as well._

_"My precious morning star, I hope that you will be able to apologise to your brother for me, although I hope that this would not be necessary. These letters…see them as my gift to you. The history of your parents' past."_

* * *

_**Author's Note:** As I have mentioned, this is a what if with the main idea being that Al-Cid is in love with Messallina. I do believe that he is the type of man, who when he is in love, would say very extravagant and cliché thing due to him being quite a flamboyant and overdramatic character._

_The idea is that he wrote the first six letters, but then realised that he could not send it, although he then kept it. Eventually, he wrote a letter to his daughter and many years later, he gave the letters to his daughter._

_Al-Cid keeps on referring to Messallina as evening star, and this is a reference to what happened in chapter twenty three. In the ball in Bhujerba, Messallina had a dark blue dress with golden threads. The idea is that the dress is meant to look like the Lazuli Lapis, which is dark blue with gold in it. In some countires, the Lazuli Lapis is known as the heaven stone, since they see the gold bit as stars, with the dark blue being the night sky. Therefore, Al-Cid ended up saying this to Messallina, in his over dramatic way: "You are like the stars of heaven, the stars of the night sky", and he will then end up calling her: "My lady evening star". Just his nickname for her. Therefore, he calls their daughter his morning star._

_Eventually, he and Messallina did end up being together, and she did end up caring and even loving him. However, she just didn't love him in the same way that she loves Vayne. Which is a parallel to the relationship Messallina had with Vayne, how Vayne loved Larsa._

_I just realised, that even though I revealed that Messallina and Vayne would marry, I did not seem to have reveal when they married. Therefore, perhaps it is the very next chapter, or perhaps it is during the events of the game._

_Over all, I enjoyed writing this story, it was a quite a change and an interesting way of writing._


End file.
